Emotions; a sister’s view
I thought I would write this is an effort to help those who are family members of a brain injury patient. I would like you all to know that the emotional roller-coaster that you are on is shared by all of us who have a loved one with a brain injury.
My sister, had microvascular decompression surgery in November 2003, as a last resort to relieve the pain of trigeminal neuralgia, a condition she has had for the last 19 years. The doctors explained the risks and said that there would be a ‘1 in 1000′ chance of something going wrong. Unfortunately, Anita was that 1 in 1000. Everything that could have gone wrong did. She didn’t just get one of the side effects to the surgery she got all of them.
When I heard the news that Anita was in a drug induced coma and in the neuro critical care unit to say I was devastated is an understatement! All the questions you want to ask but there are no answers to; What happened? What went wrong? Who’s fault was it? Damn bloody doctors are useless! All these things flood through your head and at that moment in time you are extremely emotional. I was not able to go to the hospital for my sister, which still haunts me to this day. My brother-in-law Howard has been at my sister’s side since the beginning and has been a mountain of strength for my sister. My mum and dad took the train down to be with my sister and talk to her while she was unconscious, it has been scientifically proven that coma patients can still hear. So don’t be afraid to talk to them, fill them in with the local gossip and even bring up the embarrassing stories of their youth! They can hear you.
Anita came through her coma and mum, dad and Howard were there for her. Anita’s only means of communication was an eye movement, which progressed into a hand squeeze. To hear the news that Anita was out of the coma, I was relieved. But the relief didn’t last. Anita developed one complication after another! Brain drains, tracheotomy, meningitis, eye infections, collapsed lungs, vomiting and TWO doses of MRSA! the dreaded superbug that kills over 5,000 patients per year! I had to ask myself, what the hell were these doctors doing? Did they actually go to medical school? Of course, I was being irrational. I wanted to blame anyone I could get my hands on. Unfortunately, complications are part of brain surgery. When anyone has brain surgery there are going to be complications of some kind. Though I have to say, MRSA is not one of them. MRSA is due to unhygienic conditions, something you would not expect in a bloody neuro ward!
The last fifteen months has been a roller-coaster of sadness, relief, frustration and anger. I am currently in the anger state of emotion - not just because of the complications with my sister’s surgery, but because of the rehabilitation therapy, or lack thereof that she has been offered. I will cover that subject in the ‘Rant’ section.
Just so you know, all of these emotional states are a normal process of what a person goes through. And you have to go through them to keep sane and emotionally healthy.