Intensive care (day 1)
8pm I have arrived at hospital tired after a long drive suffering a nasty head cold. Earlier today I heard anita was in a critical condition and with my mobile out of action I have to monitor things at the motorway services through the long drive. Christ I have become an expert at driving at a good speed with the rainstorm in my eyes. When I arrive to find Anita wired up to the machines I am a little shocked she’s still alive, not only that but improving. The last time I was at Barrow hospital I nearly died of peritinitus. Anita was helping me through a burst appendix. She is very unconcious and it all comes back to me from just over 2 years ago. How different it it this time, not so much that intensive care is less grand than addenbrookes, but that this time she is seeking a release from life. It puts a whole new complexity on things. Now here I am 2 years later apologising to her that I won’t be able to pull the plugs out for her.
They are now taking some of the wires away, I think she is improving from her critical state earlier. I think she may wake up in the morning and she is going to be very angry. I get to stay in a hospital bungalow tonight.
I randomly open the quote book.
There are always risk in freedom
The only risk in bondage is that of breaking free.